The Purple Bucket

I’m working on some research on how trauma effects children. It is easy to get caught up in the “big” traumas. Abuse, neglect, separation from family. In our adult eyes those are the ones that matter, while things like a new sibling, moving to a new house or using the potty barely rate.

And it is true, we have a much better understanding of how brains develop and the long term impact that trauma can have on little minds. So, on a scale of “things that can have long negative consequences” something like moving or saying goodbye to diapers is on the low end.

However, it is important to remember that children don’t see trauma the same way that adults do. They have a different view, one that is much more personal and centered around themselves and they have less experience to compare it to. Things that we would brush off can be devastating to them. It isn’t our job to tell them to “get over it” but instead to give them the tools to cope.

Real life example, the purple bucket. It had been in our sand toys for a year or so. Finally, the plastic brittle, it cracked in many places. I tossed it in the recycling bin without a second thought.

When my 6 year old saw it, he melted down. He cried, he grabbed it out of the bin and wouldn’t let it go. He assured me it was one of his favorite things, that it was still good and that we could find something to do with it. No explanations on my part or reminders of the other buckets we have made a difference.

I don’t know what it was, but something about seeing that bucket in the recycling bin triggered anxiety and worry in him. Reasoning did nothing, if I had told him to “get over it” that would have done less then nothing. It may have seemed out of the blue and silly to me, but it was very very real to him.

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Promoting Gun Safety: Sharing Knowledge of Child Development to Support Informed Decisions

Published in “Young Children” a journal of the National Association for the Education of Young Children

As I stir vegetables in a hot pan, I see my 2-year-old daughter about to pull on the handle of the cabinet under the sink. “No, no,” I say firmly, “that cabinet is dangerous! We don’t play with it.” She pouts and gives the handle a firm tug. The child lock catches, preventing her from opening it. Again I tell her to leave the cabinet alone. She lets go and wanders into another room.

Like many parents with small children, I lock my cleaning supplies in a cabinet. Although I am careful to explain to my daughter why we don’t play in there, I know that she is young and inquisitive and doesn’t understand the hazards posed by the chemicals. I also know that despite my best intentions, I can’t have my eyes on her 24/7, and I need to take steps to protect her when my back is turned

It is our responsibility, as parents, educators, and caregivers, to teach children to recognize and avoid dangers, and to create safe environments for them. That’s why it makes sense to lock up toxic cleaning supplies, to put medication out of children’s reach, to be aware of allergens in other people’s homes that might trigger a severe reaction. If you’ve nodded along with these examples, then I ask you very respectfully to think about another potential risk for children: access to guns in your home or in the places they visit. Because gun ownership is widespread in the United States (Parker et al. 2017), this is an important topic for everyone to consider…..continue reading here

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They Aren’t Doing it Right

Exhibit designers and museum educators work very hard to create experiences. Everything that goes into an exhibit or a program is thought through to support the core theme and help learning take place. So, it is understandable that they get frustrated when the spaces aren’t being used the way they envisioned.

“They aren’t using it the right way”

“All they do is……”

“They never……..”

I listen sympathetically but then I ask three questions.

  1. Is someone going to get hurt?
  2. Are the exhibits at risk?
  3. Is the experience of other visitors being impacted?

If the answer to these is no then, I’m very sorry, we just have to deal with it. The behavior may be annoying, it may not use the space in our carefully planned out way….but it isn’t wrong.

Learning through play, or experiential learning, means that we give up control of how visitors use the space. Sure, if we sat them down and talked at them we’d have better control of the message….but it also wouldn’t spark the imagination.

So, if people aren’t using the space “right” try to meet them where they are. What can you change to help them get your message? Can you use what they are doing to help them learn? Or, can you see what they are doing as a new opportunity for exploration.

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Can You Make Them Get Off Their Phones?

I had a chance to work with a stellar group of docents the other week. They are at a hands-on, play based, children’s museum and were brushing up on their skills for working with young children and their grown-ups

Hands down, one of the biggest questions they had was how they could “make” the parents participate and play with the children. I had tried to figure out how to break this to them gently, but I had to be blunt.

You can’t

Now, this is a different conversation then getting adults to supervise their children in a space (we covered that as well-let me know if you want details). This is about adults playing/participating/interacting with the exhibits and the young people that they brought with them.

I think one of the myths of becoming a parent or caretaker is that you automatically know how to play. It’s not true. Some people are amazing at playing with children, they can get down on the floor and get their hands dirty or their imaginations going without a second thought.

Other people though, are watchers. They may be the type that always observed, they may feel uncomfortable in this role, they may have a lot going on in the rest of their lives and they just don’t have the bandwidth to do this right now….and that is ok

If you were hosting a program and you had a child who just wanted to watch, you wouldn’t toss them into the center of the group and say “No! You must participate the way I say!” It is the same with adults, they need what that child needs. They need opportunities, to have interactions modeled for them and to have a chance to process it in their own way.

So, keep encouraging, keep modeling, keep giving them ways to tie it in to things they do at home with their children. Even if they aren’t doing it the “right” way (ie the way you think they should) it doesn’t mean they aren’t getting anything out of it.

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Museum Visitors are Incredibly Brave

As museum professionals I think we forget sometimes to step back and look at things from a visitor’s point of view. Our visitors are incredibly brave. They come up to a a strange building, with rules that they don’t know, and are expected to go in and explore (maybe on their own) and learn. That is a lot to ask!

For me, it really hit home when I dug into Elissa Frankle Olinsky’s “Hierarchy of Museum Visitor Needs” Based off of an educational philosophy commonly called Maslow’s Hierarchy, it really puts into perspective what visitors go through.

Just to get in the door, visitors are assessing if they are safe and welcome. Assuming they feel like they are able to walk in, then they need to make sure all of their basic needs can be met in this space. Can they find a bathroom, a place to eat, understand the rules and how they are supposed to behave.

Once they’ve jumped those hurdles they need to feel like they understand the purpose of the space. What they will learn and how they will learn it.

Only then, after overcoming three difficult levels can they start to take in, process and apply the things in your museum and really come away with those core components that they you have put so much effort into creating for them.

So, have you given your museum visitors enough credit? Are you recognizing everything it takes to just get into your space and be able to learn there?

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Bathtub Museum

When your 2 year old has been constantly asking to go to a “bathtub museum” you get your museum educator brain going and figure out what might fill that need.

Sure, lots of museums have A bathtub on display….but if she is asking for a bathtub museum I envision lots of them in all different shapes and sizes.

Which is how we found ourselves at a “bath and tile showroom” one cold Saturday. We looked at colors, shapes and patterns in the tile. We counted bathtubs and showers and she and her brother climbed in and out (with permission) of tubs of all sizes to her extreme delight.





It may not have looked much like a museum visit,  but it filled the need. The object she wanted to see was the centerpiece and we experienced it “in real life” in many forms and variations.

It was a good reminder that museum visits don’t have a certain “look” it is all about the exploration that goes on and the chance to get up close and personal with an object, a concept, a theme and ideas.



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But We Can’t Read!

I had such a cool teaching moment today. I work with 3 and 4 year olds. All I want to do is make them love books and feel like reading is something that will open doors for them. If I do that then I feel like the learning-to-read part will come when they are ready.

Well, yesterday I had my usual story time at the end of the day. As I read I ask questions, get them to notice things in the pictures and predict what will happen next. We had a little time left over so I got them to recap the story for me and we looked at the beginning, middle and end.

As I closed the book I remarked “You guys are getting to be really good readers!”

“We can’t read!” they said “We don’t know how to read!”

“Sure you do.” I replied “Maybe you can’t read the words on the page yet but you guys are really good at reading the pictures!”

I flipped open to a page with a little kid on it and asked them how he felt “Sad!” they said

“How do you know?”

“He looks like he is crying”

“See!” I told them triumphantly “You didn’t know the words on the page but you knew what he was feeling.” I could see this proud little look stealing over their faces.

Then, I drew a stop sign on the board “What does that say?” I ask them “STOP!” They all shouted.

“You read again!” I said

So today, I brought in a copy of “The Snowy Day.” I told them that I wasn’t going to read it to them….they were going to read it to me. Page by page we went through and they narrated what was going on in the picture. After, I went back and read it to them using the words that they had chosen. On each page one of them would say excitedly “Oh! This is the page that I read!”

In fancy education terms, what this is called is “emergent reading” Interacting with books, knowing beginning, middle and end, retelling stories and being familiar with common signs and symbols. All of it layering on the skills and confidence to begin reading the words on the page.

In the moment, it was all about their excitement that they themselves were actually readers. And that was a pretty good feeling.

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