I had a chance to work with a stellar group of docents the other week. They are at a hands-on, play based, children’s museum and were brushing up on their skills for working with young children and their grown-ups

Hands down, one of the biggest questions they had was how they could “make” the parents participate and play with the children. I had tried to figure out how to break this to them gently, but I had to be blunt.

You can’t

Now, this is a different conversation then getting adults to supervise their children in a space (we covered that as well-let me know if you want details). This is about adults playing/participating/interacting with the exhibits and the young people that they brought with them.

I think one of the myths of becoming a parent or caretaker is that you automatically know how to play. It’s not true. Some people are amazing at playing with children, they can get down on the floor and get their hands dirty or their imaginations going without a second thought.

Other people though, are watchers. They may be the type that always observed, they may feel uncomfortable in this role, they may have a lot going on in the rest of their lives and they just don’t have the bandwidth to do this right now….and that is ok

If you were hosting a program and you had a child who just wanted to watch, you wouldn’t toss them into the center of the group and say “No! You must participate the way I say!” It is the same with adults, they need what that child needs. They need opportunities, to have interactions modeled for them and to have a chance to process it in their own way.

So, keep encouraging, keep modeling, keep giving them ways to tie it in to things they do at home with their children. Even if they aren’t doing it the “right” way (ie the way you think they should) it doesn’t mean they aren’t getting anything out of it.